I asked ChatGPT to give me an interview about coming out. All of the following questions were generated by ChatGPT except one.

Q. When did you first realize you were not straight?

A. It started to dawn on me when I was 14 but I shoved if off as something else until I was 18. Then I knew I was gay, but I refused to call it that to myself. It was only same sex attraction and I was determined I could change it.

Q. What was your experience like before coming out? How did you feel?

A. Honestly it has felt like I have been choking for most of my life and I can’t clear it from my throat. I have spent a lot of time closeted so it has felt like my entire life. At times it has been unbelievable torture. The hardest part was resigning myself to being a closeted recluse as all my friends seem to move along with their lives. It was also difficult wanting and even trying to tell someone and feeling like my tongue was tied and I couldn’t say anything.

Q. How did you decide to come out? What was the catalyst?

A. A friend asked me and it surprised me because I didn’t lie, but I also said it wasn’t a subject I would discuss (obviously gay). I have been trying to prepare myself for coming out for a while, but again, it felt like my tongue was tied. It took me another two weeks to finally tell my mom and it has been a slow process telling people until now. Now I am oversharing.

Q. Who was the first person you came out to? How did they react?

A. My mom, she reacted like I had always dreamed of, with love and compassion.

Q. Did you encounter any negative reactions when you came out? If so, how did you deal with them?

A. Not yet, my family and friends are extremely accepting, but now I’m taking this info public so lets find out.

Q. How has your life changed since coming out? What has been the most positive change?

A. I would say there hasn’t been much change but that is wrong. Going through this and incorporating a part of you, that you have been hiding, into your identity means there will be a lot of change and a lot of stress. Overall though it feels amazing to have people to talk to about this. 20+ years is a long time to not share something so important with anyone and I guess it is a testament to how stubborn I am.

Q. What advice would you give to someone who is considering coming out?

A. If it is safe to do so, do it, but it is still something that each individual needs to consider their situation and timing.

Q. What do you wish people understood about the coming out process?

A. When you have spent your life hiding a part of yourself it is difficult to know how to incorporate that part of you into your life. Obviously I am the same person you know and love but there will be changes. Parts of my personality have been built around hiding my sexuality so removing that will cause some changes. Over this process I have often thought of the argument that goes something like this “I don’t mind if they are gay but why do they have to make it their entire identity. Being straight isn’t part of my identity.” The thing is being straight is a part of your identity and it can be seen everywhere! When you think of a marriage or a family what do you think of? How many people reading this can actually say they have watched a movie with a gay main character, or a show with gay characters that doesn’t rely on stereotypes. Modern Family isn’t it!

Q. What can friends and family do to support someone who has come out?

A. Love and support them, after doing that you can work on understanding if you need to but love and support should be first. Also recognize how much bravery it takes to come out.

Q. Is there anything else you’d like to share about your experience with coming out?

A. It’s a learning process for me and anyone who interacts with me so I hope you like to learn because I do.

Q. What resources did you find helpful in preparing to come out? Were there any websites, books, or support groups that you found particularly helpful?

A. Youtube, TikTok, “This Book Is Gay” by Juno Dawson, My personal musical collection.

Q. How has your coming out impacted your relationships with friends and family? Have you found that some people have been more supportive than others?

A. Everyone I have told has been super supportive, but of course, the changes that naturally come with life adjustments like this have had an impact.

Q. How do you feel about the level of acceptance of LGBTQ+ individuals in society today? What changes would you like to see?

A. I feel that the level of acceptance in society has improved but still has a long way to go. The fact that people are being murdered or even just ostracized from family and community says a lot about the level of acceptance. That sexuality and gender are political issues says a lot about the level of acceptance.

Q. Have you found that your sexual orientation has impacted your career or educational opportunities? If so, can you tell us more about your experience?

A. Yes, BYU was detrimental to my mental health and I never should have stayed there as long as I did, but I left due to mental health in part based on my identity. I still received a good education from there and met tons of amazing people whom I will love for the rest of my life. As for work I have never had any direct impact but I have been closeted. I also work in a place that tries to be tolerant.

Q. Have you ever experienced discrimination or harassment because of your sexual orientation? How did you handle the situation?

A. I have never faced direct discrimination for my sexual orientation as an adult but I have witnessed it at college and some general things at work. Middle school bullying would be the most direct I received. It is amazing how being called gay as a pejorative can mess with a gay man for years.

Q. How has coming out impacted your mental health? Are there any coping strategies or self-care practices that you have found helpful?

A. I honestly feel better. My sexuality isn’t the only factor in my mental health but it is a piece of the puzzle. I feel better after coming. It is surprising how helpful it is to discuss the issues that I have kept hidden for so long. Even being able to make jokes about it has been beneficial.

Q. What advice would you give to allies who want to be supportive of LGBTQ+ individuals?

A. Start with love and compassion, and then learn about them. Also remember each person is different.

Q. Have you ever used a clever or creative way to come out to someone? If so, can you share the story?

A. Does a website count? A random guy (BYU student) on the ski lift asked me if I have a wife and I responded with “nah bruh, I’m gay”.

Q. If you could give your younger self advice about coming out, what would you say?

A. I would say that everything is fine and stop worrying about it and accept who you are. I would try to encourage finishing the transfer applications to other universities but I hate dwelling on should haves.

Q. Are there any LGBTQ+ films, TV shows, or music that you particularly enjoy?

A. Love Simon, Love Victor, Boy Erased and you can find my music playlist on another page full of music with gay themes.

Q. If your sexual orientation were a color, what color would it be and why?

A. It’s fuchsia… no it would be blue or turquoise or some shade of greenish blue teal. Sure as hell not anything in pastel shades though. Jesus didn’t die for tacky colors.

Q. Have you ever had a dream that helped you understand your sexual orientation better?

A. Yes, one I feel comfortable sharing is that I used to think if I met the right girl I could marry her and be fine. One night I had a dream about marrying a girl and it gave me such a panic attack I knew I could never have that life and it wasn’t fair to me or the girl.

Q. If you could have any LGBTQ+ superhero power, what would it be?

A. Perfect gaydar.

Q. If you could have a billboard with any message related to coming out, what would it say?

A. Hey! I’m gay with a picture of me. Sorry that is all I can think of.

Q. If you could live in any LGBTQ+ fictional universe, which one would you choose and why?

A. I would say Harry Potter but I want to live in a universe where trans women are accepted too.

Q. What challenges have you faced with mental health and self-acceptance as a member of the LGBTQ+ community?

A. This is a question that I could write pages on and maybe I will on this website. My coming out announcement mentions some of the mental health struggles I have gone through but I feel that self-acceptance has been extremely hard. I can say with certainty that it has impacted my mental health. Internalized homophobia is a hard thing to overcome but I have come a long way and will continue on my journey.

Q. In your opinion, what are some of the most pressing issues that affect the LGBTQ+ community today? What needs to be done to address them?

A. The LGBTQ+ community needs more protections, many states do not have workplace or housing protections for LGBTQ+ individuals.

Q. How have you dealt with religious or cultural beliefs that may not accept or understand your sexual orientation?

A. This is a complicated question that I will not answer here but I would love to talk to you about it in person. So feel free to reach out and we can get some lunch or dinner and discuss openly.

Q. Have you ever felt isolated or alone as a member of the LGBTQ+ community? If so, how did you find support and connect with others?

A. Being in the closet for so long is extremely isolating and lonely. It is impossible to find support when you don’t reach out for it.

Q. Why are you coming out now?

A. Mostly for the jokes but also it’s time. It’s time to make some changes my life. It is time to accept who I am and to learn to love myself for who I am. It’s time to be the fully authentic Joe.